Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The Calcutta Club Aunty

1. Is often overwight in the Bengali way - large prosperous tummy, large boobs, fat soft hands, often jowly.
2. Is mostly dressed in saris accompanied with jewellery that can be classified as
(a) Pearls - Old Fashioned, studied in convent, parents landowners with morris minors in the garages to be flashed out during the Statesman rallies. How such types make a living always remains a mystery.
(b) Gold - oodles of it - Newly rich, and is often accompanied with weird vaudeville makeup and often married to a businessman.
(c) Chunky, funky jewellery - Is better educated, may be working and hence feels morally and intellectually superior. Is supposedly cool and trendy and exhibits supposed coolness by smoking like a chimney and drinking like a fish.

3. Has wonderfully "accomplished" children often settled abroad, who do better than everyone else's.
4. Think it is their duty and privilege to ask nosy questions.
5. Has opinions on everything and voices them loudly.
6. Is always socially conscious of her husband's "status" and "place in life" and never fails to voice it loudly at every given point in time.
7. Is capable of out-staring anyone and everyone.
8. Will talk in a mixture of English and Bengali with the Bengali spoken with an English accent.
9. Knows everyone in town worth knowing.
10. Is as bitchy as a well bitch, but pretends to be holy and saintly.


At 1:09 PM, Blogger BridalBeer said...

And none of these women can become members of Calcutta Club. By rule, by a bye-rule. Not unless they wed, wed well, and wed male.
They they can pout at the "khansaama."

At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have my own version, they are the Boston Aunties, and they are just as mean while pretending to be "helpful"...


aka Corporate Mommy

At 12:27 AM, Blogger Plumpernickel said...

Bridal, That is the irony. Holds for any other club aunties as well.

Elizabeth, goes to show people are the same everywhere.

At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

man! why do you delete comments? did the bit about "dehati bihari aunties" offend you? guess you need to learn to take a bit of your own salt you know.

and yes! do delete this (not that I need to tell you)

At 11:46 PM, Blogger Plumpernickel said...

Its my blog and if I don't wish to have a comment to a post, I shall delete it.

You can froth and fume and comment somewhere else.

I have a policy of deleting most anonymous comments, if you don't like that, too bad.

If I think a comment is dumb, I delete it.

If I think the commentor has totally missed the point to a post, I delete the comment.

If I generally chose to dislike a comment, I delete it.

Hardly anyone reads this blog and I'd rather have it that way. So, if you can't abide by comments being deleted, too bad, because it is my blog.


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