Tuesday, October 19, 2004

One more cup of coffee

Everybody seems to be getting married, everybody who falls in my age-bracket atleast or so it seems. Yesterday, I called up someone who I can classify as an old friend (every adjective being used in a very relative manner over here) and it transpired that the fellow had gotten married. Nice!

Ponappa might be jumping the gun soon too. She seems resigned to her fate. Her fate being, following docilely the dictates of her rather over-bearing, conventional father. When I hear her mouth inanities like, "I can't escape fate and I can't say no to my father, you know how it is, don't you?" I feel mad and positively incendiary. Whatever happened to the woman who was all fire and brimstone and feminazi? Its just been four years and this is what happens to her? I merely laugh wryly and say, "whatever Ponappa, its your life." Now, if Varsha was to get married too, I would so totally know that my friends had completely gone to the dogs. Years ago when I had told Ponappa that I knew that 5 years from now, I would be the only one living life on a principle, they had all laughed at me. Here I am now ladies, having the last laugh, or not?

Few days back, I was talking with an ex (the only one with whom I am friends), and like most exes tend to do in the late hours of the night connected over a telephone cable, we pulled and tugged and took our now-over relationship to pieces. Now that I am older and less prone to aggressive fits and temper tantrums, I realise that I am just not relationship material. Nobody can stand me for a length of time, not even my flesh and blood and I said the same to him and I apologized for all the hissy fits I had thrown. He apologized for being non-committal all the time and that I was surprized he admitted it. I got the feeling that he was trying to edge back in, but I really have no time for anyone right now and certainly not for non-committal men who have dumped me (and have been dumped by me, hehehe) for no apparent reasons in the past. When I don't need anyone, I have a surfeit of help, when I was in need I got all doors slammed on my face.


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