Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The "Rakhi Sister"

Once again, Sagnik's post has inspired me to write about my nemesis in each and every failed relationship* I have had, my Judas Escariot, the snake-in-the-grass, the "other" woman, the wolf in sheep's clothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the "Rakhi Sister" (RS).

The "Rakhi Sister" is a female that is not really the sister of the bloke but is almost like his sister. Hence, she is a paragon of virtue, she is charming, beautiful, a true lady and her only purpose in life seems to be aborting every relationship the bloke might want to have on pretext of, "Oh but Rahul**, she isn't good enough for you!!"

When a bloke has a RS, rest assured the bloke will either die a bachelor or marry the RS or her younger sister. The RS will be given the best since the "relationship" the bloke and RS share is so precious, so meaningful and so "connected"! The RS and the bloke celebrate birthdays, anniversaries (the day we realised we were actually brother and sister), rakshabandhan, bhai dooj (never mind that 80% of the time RS and bloke end up marrying each other) and every other festival in true bollywood sister-brother style consisting of soppy CDs, stuffed annimals and if the bloke is loaded, "decent" jewellery.

The RS and bloke will often be seen in one remote, private corner of the earth enjoying the sunset and discussing every little tidbit the two can share. If bloke suddenly sprouts interest in some other babe, a long, meaningful discussion often ensues in which RS will piously observe, "Rahul**, doesn't your GF have a slight squint when she stares in the sun. Toone kabhi poocha nahi ye kaise hua?" or "Rahul**, teri GF to poore samay bas mugti rehti hai, she's such a muggu, nahi?"

Sagnik claims to have never met female versions of what he calls Protectors or Shields, but ladies, you know a Rakhi Sister when you see one. Be afraid ladies, be very afraid of the Rakhi Sister.

* Relationship in which I was remotely interested in the bloke and not the other way round
** Or Sagnik, or Amit or Vicky


At 11:11 PM, Blogger Nero said...

Be afraid ladies, be very afraid of the Rakhi Sister.


Great post! :D

At 3:53 AM, Anonymous vanilla said...

Ha ha ha

If someone actually calculates the probablity of each guy with an RS having had a relationship with the RS, or will have a relationship with RS, it is going to be close to 1. I can tell. :)

At 3:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, its the best way to have a relation with a guy without the social stigma attached...

At 4:01 AM, Blogger the wannabe indian punkster said...

oohhh, and I thought I was the only one fearing the ubiquity of the 'Rakhi Sister'!

In my high school, all the so-called 'rakhi' brothers and 'sisters' ALWAYS hooked up at some point or the other, and so my question is....what is the point of a tying a 'rakhi' to the guy who you fancy in the first place?

The duplicity of the darned 'Rakhi Sister'.....I tell you.

At 5:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can agree with you as i found quite a few couples starting their relation like that and enede up marrying each other.

At 6:03 AM, Blogger Gaurav said...

Superb post! even I find the idea of a rakhi sister idiotic. It is for people who on some level don't believe that a straight guy and a straight girl can ever be platonic friends.

At 5:15 PM, Blogger ધવલ said...

Great post :-) :-) ... and very true.

At 5:53 PM, Blogger Swapna said...

So very true... I've seen so many "rakhi brothers and sisters" get married and throughout their relationship, they'll say that "they are just friends" or "how could you say something like that? He/she is my rakhi brother/sister"..

Hilarious !!

Awesome post...

At 6:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This Rakhi sister/brother stuff just makes me want to SCREAM.Its really sick esp when they end up marrying each other.YUCK!


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