Food issues

I used to think I was a low-maintenance non food issues person. I was wrong. Yesterday my maid cooked very bong¹ style food. This must be discouraged. I have nothing against bong food, as a matter of fact I like it quite a lot, except that it makes one fat. As it is, I am horizontally challenged, I can do without gadzillion litres of cooking oil and spices my cook insists on putting in everything. I have to teach her how to cook my way and how not to chop veggies in huge chunks for bhajis.
 
I've discovered some of my food issues in the past one month, so here's another list.

1. In Indian curries, if the gravy/ curry contains onion, it should be minced and not sliced or chopped.
2. Bread should be fresh, very fresh and toasts should be golden brown, if toast gets darker than that, I don't eat it.
3. I can only eat green apples (granny smiths or golden kings) - I just cannot make myself eat red apples.
4. The only brands of biscuits I will eat are Brittania's or Mcvitie's. I don't eat any other brand. I used to also eat 'The baker's" biscuits and cookies, but after our fight I am boycotting his stuff. I know I am juvenile.
5. I need my cooking oil to be a lite kinds or olive oil. If it is mustard oil or coconut oil, I prefer not to eat the stuff.
6. I just cannot stand gummy okra or ladiesfinger. It must be crisp.
7. Most food must be amenable for eating with a fork. If it requires cutting, I cut up everything and then use a fork with my right hand. I rarely eat with a spoon.  I used to like eating Indian food with my hands, but now I feel too lazy to go and wash and disinfect my hands before and after eating.
8. However, pizza must never be eaten with a knife and fork. It is finger food for me.
9. No runny eggs please!
10. I must always have a napkin while eating. Lack of napkins is not nice.
11. Overcooked veggies are my Number 1 pet peeve.
12. Red meat should be well-done. I don't think rare meat (though tastier) is safe.
13. Different kinds of food must be eaten separately, and my favourite foods are eaten last.
14. Not having dessert is sacrilege.

I think I should end now. If I go on, I would never be able to stop.

¹Bong = bengali