Thursday, January 05, 2006

Grouchy Old Bag

I'm feeling very grouchy today.

1. My first major grouch is on sanctimonious donors. Why can't you just do what you have to and then shut up about it? Going on reminding others about your noble deeds and your pain and suffering (fake?) for the underprivileged ad nauseum is very annoying. Why do people have to publicize their good deeds again and again? Why can't they just remain silent about them?

2. My secound grouch is about parents. Why do they have to spoil their kids so much? Indian parents have this annoying attitude about keeping their kids on a pedestal. I'm so annoyed by fawning parents who bring up their kids to be royal pain-in-the-ass cutesy sorts. Yesterday, I was trying to buy a cellphone for my driver/ chauffeur and a father walked in with his 5-6 year old cutesy daughter. The kid tried to sit on my lap. Arggghhh! I have this aversion to touchy-feely kids. The only kid I can bear to touch and cuddle is my nephew and that too after I wash his hands with soap, antibacterial disinfectant and I comb his hair down, all other kids, I want to keep at a distance. Kids are fetid heaps of bacteria and fungus and can pee and poop at any given point of time. And I absolutely dislike the prima donna kiddie varieties (except my nephew) who want the entire world to rotate around them. Anyhow, then, The kid tried to talk with me. I was checking that string thing because my driver had asked me for it and while I was talking with the sales person interjected with a annoying cutesy piping comment, "I like butterflies, take the butterfly one." What the fuck! I don't know this kid from adam or her progenitor, why should I pay attention? I ignored the kid and she again shouted that. I ignored it again and then the kid says, "I like butterflies, what do you like?" I couldn't help saying, "Nothing, I like nothing." That shut the kid up. I know it was nasty but I really dislike kids who try to clamber into my lap when I don't know them and especially if their parents don't move a muscle when their kids are annoying the royal shit out of someone they don't even know. Kids, stay away. I may look like an overgrown baby at times, and even though I love pink, I don't like you. Eww, argh, growl.

5 Comments:

At 5:34 AM, Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said...

How entirely loveable you can be, to be sure. Perhaps a broomstick for your next birthday?

J.A.P.

 
At 5:53 AM, Blogger Plumpernickel said...

Lovely. My old one is almost a twig now, thanks to the thwackings I've been giving annoying brats!

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Parna said...

this had me in splits. both. but mostly the second point. absolutely agree with you. and am not talking about my neighbour's smart alec 3 year old. everytime he comes visiting, i end up with a headache, not to mention the hassle of clearing up after up.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger Dem said...

Heyup P -

Sorry to be completely unrelated to the post and comments but I just tried to email you to make sure you don't object to me reposting your guild of guestbloggers contributions from Way Back When but my email to you bounced and I can't find any contact details here. Contact me on guildofghostwriters AT gmail DOT com if you have any objection/comments or if you'd like to make any additional guest contributions.

Cheers...

 
At 6:50 AM, Blogger BridalBeer said...

Hilarious!!!

 

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