Friday, May 12, 2006

The Way We Travel - Delhiwallahs

1. Wear a Burberry Tee-shirt, thick gold chain, carry a Vertu.
2. Wife has arched eyebrowns, bottle or bleached blonde hair, wears tight-tight clothes, arms dripping with diamond bangles, carries a Chanel or Louis Vuitton Bag.
3. Insist on eating Vegetarian only. Then turn up your nose and say, "What? You have only one option in vegetarian?" (Do you think you are at Sagar, asshole? Its a airplane, in case you hadn't noticed.)
4. Chat up all airhostesses and tell them loudly, very loudly how wonderful your vacation to the USA was.
5. When you have to disembark, rush to the exit, elbowing everyone in your way and if someone asks you, "Whats your hurry?" say, "Fuck off!" thus displaying your origins and the lack thereof.
6. Call up some obscure person (loudly, very loudly) that you just can't stand in the passport control line for immigration and that you and your harpy of a wife should be taken ahead of the line.
7. Wait with the hoi polloi for your luggage, because you see, there are somethings in life, even your sources cannot control.


At 1:46 AM, Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Was it the USA this time?

And immigration lines can be fixed, it just takes a little advance planning.


At 3:43 AM, Anonymous deccanheffalump said...

Oops. I didnt know we were so BAD!
We have learnt in the space of 2 decades to travel from one village to the farthest continent.More than most people do. In fact I notice what ass----- many airhostesses are. They get paid to serve their passengers.They are not doing anyone a favour. If they don't speak Hindi perhaps they better learn fast.


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