Judases

My friends have ALL abandoned me. Yes, Varsha, you bitch, you too.

The fault is mostly mine. I have been very, very, very busy at work and now, even though I have no friends, I finally have a magazine to my credit. Anyhow, this post is not about my fabulousness.

My friends are either chasing tail (yes Varsha, you), or over-involved with their spawns and devoted husbands and when confronted with my swinging singleness, try to make me feel bad by saying, "don't your parents worry about you?" "Don't you feel alone?" "Don't you want a family?" My answers scare them ( "No, remember, my parents are way cooler than yours and they were the ones who ignited the flame beneath the bra, so No", "No, I actually wish I had time to be alone so I could go for long vacations", "NO! Remember, I think the planet is overcrowded already. Didn't I always say I would never ever be a producer and I really do not want to be a part of the guilt circle") and the sorry losers they try to match me with make me retch. I have made up my mind that the next time it happens, I will remind them of their ex-boyfriends, how they won debates on sexual empowerment and how affronted they felt when professors told them that their tags would help them hook better husbands (it worked).

Women, please do not make me remind you of things that will make you inwardly cringe.