Regular Calcutta Annoyances

1. Dear Zaranj, your chef is from Agra. Agra was NEVER Awadh. Never, ever. I ate a lot of lambchops because they were good, but dousing other food with Kewra jal does not make it awadhi. Why am I suddenly craving brahmi sharbat? Does anyone even know what that is? No?
2. Dear original people from Calcutta, does it not bother you that there really is NO cutting edge or even economically viable research happening in Calcutta?
3. Dear Men, what was so stareworthy about me chomping on my food, that you took one whole hour after your meal to sit and stare at me and my galpals wolfing down food? I know, we eat a lot, because really, I dont do drugs or booze and dining out is one of the sole pleasures left in my life. So, next time you stare, I really wish you choke on a bone or something or the waiter spills the tureen of soup over your head.
4. Do the frequent Bandhs and idiot strikes not bother anyone? WHY does no leader from West Bengal actually take a stand about something that is so counterproductive?