Heroes

That is the topic for a web magazine that I chanced upon and loved. I have been very influenced by a number of people after the age of eighteen. Before eighteen, I mostly repeated stuff I read and pretended I knew it all. My first influence were my grandparents. Four adults bound to each other by gossamer threads. All four unique in their own right.

My paternal grandfather, I shall always remember as a loving, jovial, cuddly darling. He was always smiling, even when my father would bully him and scold him because he cheated on the diet he was supposed to follow. He loved food and was proud of it. He had stories, jokes, tricks, and love to dole them out always. He was the one grandparent who always had time for us. While he was alive, I was shy of him and never had the time for him.

My paternal grandmother - the first of my grandparents to die, was an intensely private person. I like to think I get my need for privacy from her. She was always lost in thoughts. She had two passions in life, horses and cards. The former she could not indulge in since she my grandfather was not a rich man, but the latter was a bargaining tool for her. She was a mathematics whiz. She would help us out with our math homework and problems, provided we would play cards with her. She always drove home a good bargain when it came to cards. I could have known her better had I been older. I was however a young fool and I detested maths then and I avoided her ploys since she always won at cards. I never had the time to play cards with her.

My maternal grandfather was a very interesting and in my opinion, a contradictory person. Maybe my siblings and cousins would think differently, but I think he was somewhat contradictory. I have always been intrigued by him because he wore a lot of hats at the same time and wore them well. He was short, very quiet and always calm and collected. I never saw him lose his temper. NEVER, and that scared me. He was always in control and people looked up to him, naturally. He was a doctor by profession, a Gandhian freedom fighter (in the days India was a British colony), for a brief period of time a politician, a social worker till the end of his days and all the while he was alive, he ran his own business. I could never understand how nana managed to get so much done and not fly into a tizzy or rage when things wouldn't go right. He was almost zen in his attitude, come to think of it, he did look somewhat like the budhdha. He was the last of my grandparents' to die and I was there by his bedside when he did. I think I was the second grandchild who did manage to make it to his deathbed in time. He was the only grandparent I did manage to see one last time and say goodbye to. When I saw him in the CPU, I wanted to bawl and cry. The man who was always known to be a pillar of strength looked helpless and fragile and had a million tubes plugged into him. He did manage to recognise me though and grasp my hand tightly. I could not bear to see my grandfather who always was in control, to be so devoid of control and helpless. My grandfather went through and participated in many interesting and historical events in his lifetime. I however never had the time to listen to his stories firsthand.

My maternal grandmother was my favourite grandparent. She was also the original drama queen. So we all know where my genes come from. She made every grandchild feel special. She had a fiery temper and a sharp tongue that could be controlled by no man, not even by her husband. She was a very strong woman and a very entertaining one too. She was sharp, inventive and controlling. She hated to see people not toeing the line. All my cousins and my sister and brother were bullied into our best behaviour whenever she was around. I know we were and I know my three cousins in Delhi were - our mothers would collectively threaten us with dire consequences not to do anything to annoy my grandmother. She was always dressed very neatly and I don't remember her without matching jewellery. She played lady of the manor to perfection. She was the moral (she wasnt "moral" actually, she allowed a lot of leeway, but her sense of justice was always very out of proportion) guardian of the village my grandparents lived in. She was the lady protectress, the benefactress and woe befall anyone who wouldn't behave in the proper manner with her. I think she scared people into submission. Life with her was never dull. She was always upto something. Her life had mission and purpose and she was always busy, though I could not actually figure out just what with. She also embarrassed all of us with her exaggerated claims. We were the perfect grandchildren or so she would have everyone believe. We were all hugely talented, wonderfully intelligent and the most gifted set of individuals if one was to hear my grandmother. What I never realised was that it was love that she felt and I was always embarrassed with my grandmom. She had fantastic stories that I would cringe to hear because they were all so exaggerated. Despite her drama, my grandmother was a fun person. I was however a bit scared of her pushiness and I never chose to know her. She would always try to talk and get to know us better, but the books in my uncle's library fascinated me more and I had no time for her.

These four people are my first influences and heroes, though it has taken me a long twenty seven years to realise it and while they were alive, I had no time for them.