Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Square Peg In a Round Hole

Growing up, my over-polite mother's greatest horror was that I and my siblings would have no "tameez" and the importance of minding our Ps and Qs was dinned into us like nothing else. Mother shouldn't have worried. In a world rapidly forgetting "tameez"/ manners, I'm a fish out of water. I RSVP like nobody's business. I am polite mostly, not a pushover mind you, but very, very polite. I am always punctual - unless millions of people decide to get married on the same day and inconveniencing those who do not by driving in droves to shaadi-baaris (marriage houses - just dont ask). I don't ask rude questions. I don't inconvenience people mostly. I am not rude or deride people generally, whatever I may think of them. I don't play loud music. I don't talk loudly. I don't like intruding on anyone's space.
Which is why I feel the world would benefit greatly if the fear of being ganwaar was paramount. It would certainly make the earth more bearable. I think it has been the greatest failing of our generation that nobody is ashamed of anything. Not of ignorance, not of being rude, not of being uncouth, not of being uneducated, not of even being philistines. The only thing people are ashamed of is being poor and that is what has ruined my generation. I'm not glorifying poverty, afterall I love making money, but in a correct manner, what I mean is that forgetting everything in a mad rush to make pots of money is sickening.
These are the top of my grouses about ganwarpan and I can already imagine nani with a satisfied smirk in her babulal dhobi starched saris and matching jewellery beaming down at me from heaven -
  • People not teaching their kids manners in public places. For the millionth time - NO, it is not cute when your brat comes and stares at the food on my table and exclaims loudly, "Mummy, ye kya hai?"
  • People staring. Seriously, Indians stare a lot and I hate that.
  • People talking loudly in cellphones in public places, especially places like hospitals, banks, bookshops, restaurants and movie theatres. Seriously, I have zero interest in your ganwaar life, just shut up and stop imposing your loud, ganwaar conversation on me. Ladies - The world REALLY is not interested in you or your love life, so speak softly.
  • People who cant queue and who constantly move into my space by standing too close to me. I just hate that.
  • Social climbers
  • People who cant focus on a conversation and who's eyes keep darting around the room while you are talking to them to keep a tab on who to latch onto next.
  • Most men in Calcutta. One word - UGH! Either too creepy and slimebally or ugly and pot bellied and unfit and having not achieved anything in life but mediocrity - just very, very uninteresting to me. Now, why dont they get that?

Anyhow. I could go on and on, but sadly life has other pressing demands, so over and out. For Now.

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