Things That Have Annoyed Me Recently

I know, nobody out there is just DYING to read my latest list of annoyances. Admit it no one, this list has just made your day!

1. Women in my club in garish clothes celebrating their stupid husbands' existence (karva chauth - puke) AND getting the stupider photos published in the club newsletter. Imagine fat (I'm fat too, but I am a stylish non-garish clothes wearing fat; and those young ladies following in their elders' footsteps - well - you're looking at your future darlings) mostly punjabi/ sindhi women wearing gota and zari laden bright red, orange, pink, purple clothes and red lipstick and kilos and kilos of ganwar gold jewellery dancing to folk songs that even my blessed late grandmothers would turn up their snooty noses at.
2. The Docomo Friendship Express advertisement. I want to slap everyone in that advertisement.
3. The idiots exercising on the treadmill beside me who refuse to look the other way while I'm punching in my weight.
4. People who do not understand hygiene and the value of cleaning up. In Kolkata, thats like 99% of the population. Is it a wonder I am bad tempered?
5. People who dont understand the words, going and raving about MJ's This Is It. WHAT THE FUCK? You like watching child molesters? Also, by saying something is great just because the guy has kicked the bucket, what does it prove? If people like the music, it would be different, but whats with this dumb lemming like behaviour?
6. Indian Government Officials - atleast the ones I deal with.
7. Delta airhostesses who talk loudly when the lights are down. Nobody wants to hear about you, just let people sleep.
8. Relatives who only call to get the dirt on you.
9. Women who are wealthy dress tastelessly. Think fur, think satin, think sequins, think capes - ALL together. Women please look into the mirror before you buy. You dont have to buy it just because it cost a bajillion dollars, it needs to look GOOD on you.
10. Women who get married in a rush and then make a mess of it and refuse to listen.
11. People who pretend they have run out of cards and then email a week later, because they need you. I sometimes wonder, do they feel a twinge of regret, at all? Probably not, because well, they are American and thus rude behaviour is fine.
12. Friends who stay in America, forget your existence until they need you to do something for their dependents who are in dirty, smelly, awful India.
13. People who work with you, cracking spiteful jibes and thinking they can get away with it. Hmm... well, like I say, if you're an asshole, you will smell eventually. Also, burning bridges is not very smart.
14. People not understanding the value of RSVPing.
15. The idiot who tore off a leaf from my beloved aloe vera plant. Die asshole! Die!
16. The born donkeys who park all over my lane to get their booze.
17. Pedestrians who cant see an approaching car or understand the value of pavements.
18. Sprite Zero
19. Not getting Pro-Touch OB tampons in Kolkata. If you get me a sackful, I will be your slave for life.
20. Life