I want more!

Peace has been restored and the damn thing is up. At this rate I shall soon be a 'Late Plumpernickel'. My life follows a yo-yo trajectory these days. Some days are deeply and breathtakingly exciting, some so boring I could die. Today is a high-excitement day, though I think excitement of this sort, I could do without. I shouted at everyone today, and I need to bring in chocolates tomorrow as an anodyne.

Yesterday I read an article on ambitions and women in the Harvard Business Review about women and ambitions. According to them, women perceive being ambitious as non-feminine and are even guilty of displaying an ambitious streak at work. Those who do display strong streaks are lumped by male co-workers as lesbians or bitches. Most professional women who are very successful, are modest about their success and even try and brush away their efforts and most attributed it to luck and not wheeling-dealing. According to the study, most women made good "team" members because women styled themselves as givers and thrived on it to be seen as non-feminine and non-threatening.

I have been observing female behaviour at the work-place for ages now and I agree with the study. I know that it is tough even now for women at the workplace and to straddle a career, home, children and husbands is very tough. I have opted out of the children and husband thing because I can't handle it. Consequently I have been called a bitch when I have had to take tough decisions especially last year when I had to fire people and restructure my team. I'm happier now at work because I feel more comfortable with my team, my results and performance are peaking but I am still a bitch and a lesser woman to some. It doesn't bother me at all, but comparing myself with men I feel short-changed sometimes. Why are there different standards when it comes to judging men and women? Why is feminity so important at the workplace and the loss of it such a blow?