Plumpernickel Recipe

I gather there are many people (er... 2 or 3?) who visit my blog and desperately seek an "About Me" section. To satisfy all the curious folk, here's the plumpernickel recipe...

I will be 28 in 2 weeks time and am not sore or worried about it. I am however worried about my boobs falling to the floor, which is why I have planned to have a breast reduction at age 30. I am a girl, hence the boobs. I have been hard working all my life, except during my masters degree. I flunked a course - functional analysis to be precise (whew! I've finally got it out of my system), and that was the lowest I have ever hit. The failure hit me very badly and since then I swore that I would be a success at whatever I did next. I started working as a web designer, moved over to developing, then project management and am finally a mid-level manager now. Nothing has ever come easy to me. I've always needed to work very hard for it. I have no social life because of work. Thats the kind of loser I am. I am very competitive and I try and play fair most of the times, but if I want something really badly, I am not averse to bending the rules.

I am now hoping to be a legal consultant or attorney, though only the prosecuting kinds. I am also trying to learn German. It is not easy. I excel when I have multiple projects to work on. I also am good at identifying opportunities. I come up with a brilliant idea every week, though my ideas do not always work. I think too much and I also worry too much. I keep worrying that I will die alone, but now I know I wont, or atleast I am not scared of it.

I have one sister, one brother, and fun parents. My sister is married and has a darling son, the inheritor of my future millions, provided he keeps kissing my feet every now and then. Heh! I get along very well with my brother, I actually browbeat him into submission and still fight a lot with my sister. We do not see eye to eye on anything, but I will do anything in this world for her. Sadly she knows this and takes advantage of it. Still, I forgive her because of my darling nephew. My brother-in-law is a cool dude and I have my eye on his humongous CD collection. Oops! Now the secret is out.

I do not make friends easily. Varsha is my closest friend, conspirator and confessor. He is the only person in this world who has never annoyed me so much that I have stopped talking with him. Apart from that, I think the world of Ponappa, Balti and Madder, though at some point in the past all of them individually have driven me up the wall, but I guess all girlfriends do that at some point or the other. I also get along with men much better than I do with women, but have discovered that when it comes to being assholes, men outdo the women all the time.

I love good food, music, art, literature and travelling. I loved New York to bits and like Paris second best out of all the cities I have been to. I have been to the Louvre and the Musee d'Orsay and I cried like a baby at the latter. I think I can walk all day long in New York all my life and never get bored. I will never ever forget my first New York visit. I have started buying art recently. The first painting that I bought was from Montmarte, off a ragged pseudo artist - it has no artistic value whatsoever but I love it all the same. I also have loads of prints that I bought from Paris and New York. I think I should stop talking about art now.

I love good food and cooking. I like to think I cook well. My repertoire consists of fusion vegetarian food and it is actually lip-smackin' good. My parents, madder and my brother can swear on that. I also can whip up interesting fish and seafood meals and nobody has ever hated my chicken qorma. I love to cook for other people and watch them eat well. I want to learn how to bake and when I have a bigger kitchen, I know I shall perfect that too. I can never stick to a recipe and I always detract from recipes and mostly do not make a mess of them. My mother makes very tasty kebabs and I plan to swipe all her recipes.

I have learnt Indian classical music for a number of years, though I did not keep up with my lessons. I like classic and folk rock, though I can listen to anything but techno and trance. I also love jazz. I love to dance, but I dance horribly. If I really want to dance, I dont care about that. I love to read. I buy horrible numbers of books. Last year I bought 42. This year, I have already bought 32, no 35 counting the 3 that are already enroute. I have read over 50 books this year. I have many favourites when it comes to literature, but I especially like Margaret Atwood, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Mario Vargas Llosa and Haruki Murakami. I love South American literature. I wanted to read Marquez in the original spanish, but I now acknowledge the fact that I never will. German is hard enough to learn. I like to do crosswords and my literati ranking is 2185.

I am plump, though I am working on the plump part now and hope to be in shape in a year's time. I'm tall by Indian standards and I love that, though I wish I was taller. So, I buy shoes with heels to make me feel taller. Atleast 5 people have called me babyface and I think there is some truth in that. People have also told me that I am very intimidating, though I really do not understand why. I want to own a restaurant, an art gallery and I have grand plans of world domination, though I might just give it all up on a whim. I also want to see the entire world, even countries like Eritrea, Tonga and Haiti.

I congratulate all the people who have read through this self-obssessed monologue. I don't think I can make myself read all of it, so if there are any grammatical or spelling errors, forgive me.