Monday, November 26, 2007

Innovative Business Plans

Have you ever envied young 24 year-old entrepreneurs or CEOs who have made millions, selling their PhDs to Microsoft or who have started social networking sites in a native language that apparently has millions of users, while you read a scathing email from your boss in which he shoots down your report and you fantasize boiling him in a cauldron of bubbling oil? The thought of just giving him (your boss or alternatively the CEO depending on which thought would make your world rosier) one stinging slap, surely must have crossed your mind, sometimes?

Have you ever had long, annoying arguments with pesky younger brothers who just do not see your point because they are young and pesky, while you are 31. Does your palm not tingle at the thought of making contact with your brother's cheek?

Do you have annoying aunts who say the bitchiest of things, and add, "but you know beta, we only have your best interests in mind." Do you not think that at this point, Auntie would be much improved if uncle would slap some sense into her every now and then?

Has any bitchy married lady ever told you loudly, "My God! I never thought you could look nice!"

Did you ever have a landlord, who would make a point of knocking on your door to check the paint on the walls or the pipes, just when you and your friends had finished rolling those joints and were in the process of lighting up and takes atleast an hour to do so?

If you are of an entrepreneurial bent of mind, you could start a thriving Thappad Supari (Supari is slang for contract killing) business. A Thappad Supari business would involve hiring some rather commonplace looking but quick on the feet workforce. Once a Thappad Supari has been placed, some effort needs to be expended in locating the target, waiting for him to be somewhat isolated, then going and asking, "Bhaisaab/ behenji, time kya hai?" That will make the target stop, then give him a hard, stinging slap and just melt back into the shadows.

I for one, would gladly pay atleast 500 bucks a piece to have someone slap Sabeer Bhatia, my younger brother, lots of annoying aunties, bitchy married women and my ex-landlord.



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