Why I Should Be Awarded The Highest Civilian Award In India

1. I never file my tax returns on time, because I HATE doing taxes. I would rather take another functional analysis test if given a choice. Thats how much I hate it. My accountant sighs long and hard because he now knows I am a lost cause. However, I still feel I am a model citizen because I end up paying the GOI hefty penalties, so I contribute largely to an increase in the collection. I'm never later than a year though and I really feel nice that my hard earned money will be supporting business class tickets of totally useless ministers, or towards gun toting security commandos for barely educated members of parliament.

2. Despite the fact that everytime I want to go for a walk and I don't because the experience is so disgusting (dirty roads, high pollution, eve teasers, hecklers, Indian men, yuck, yuck, double yuck), I don't run down India in front of people who are instrumental in getting businesses and investment into India.

3. I don't vote any imbecile into parliament because I CAN'T vote because I apparently do not exist as far as electoral rolls go, despite the fact that I have a PAN card, I have a passport, I am on municipal records because I have purchased property and despite the fact that I want to and am trying to make this city home.