Pet Peeves - I

I have always been annoyed by desi-ghee ¹ Indians adopting British, European and worst of all American lingo. Since making lists comes easy to me, as we all know (we meaning me, Varsha and maybe 2 other people who read this idiotic blog, if at all they do) these are some of my pet peeves regarding adopted faux foreign lingo. Feel free to add your pet peeves in the comments box.

1. Mua or Chao instead of Moi and Ciao - dude, you may try and pass your Sita Travels Europe bus tour as the original European tour, but this just lets the cat out of the bag.
2. Okie-dokie - Gasp! Splutter! Choke! I *HATE* it when someone says this and I have a violent urge to bitchslap the person involved. That said, one of my dearest friends says it and I have to keep making pukey noises until she reminds me it is an ISD call and I need to make her promise *N*E*V*E*R* to say that again. It just makes my hair stand at an end to hear "okay-dokkay" in a thick Indian accent. Mind you, I have nothing against thick Indian accents, I just have a problem with them adopting idiotic speech patterns.
3. Whateva - What Varsha said. Imagine a south Indian Maami types saying this and you might understand the terror that overtakes me when I hear it.
4. Like - Using 'like' after every fuckin' word in a sentence still does not convince us that you vacation every year in the big apple. Get creative and grow up, will you? This still remains the favourite aphorism of every babe in Kolkata (yes, every fake is from Kolkata while non-fakes are from Calcutta) from Modern High who has to talk like a skanky ho to fit in with her other skanky peers. Ugh!
5. Honey - I HATE people who need to call you Hunney to prove how amrikan they are. Ewww....
6. A fake American accent that is characterized by a weird rolling of the R's - Don't even let me start on this one. I remember this babe from "trrontoe" who always managed to freak the life out of me with her fake accent while sending the rest of the Indian male population into a priapic state with a single fake roll of the r's. Ewww...
7. Sweetheart - ARGH! To all the oily Indian men who insist on calling ALL frickin' females "sweetheart" to prove just how hep they are, one word - DIE!!!
8. Pissa instead of Pizza - Enough to turn one of Pizzas for life, not that one was ever turned on them for life.
9. Kewl - If I had a rupee for everytime I harboured murderous intentions for people using kewl in IM conversations, I would not be perpetually broke.
10. Using gonna instead of going to - If you were American I'd have understood, if you're Indian and never left Indian shores, this is plainly unacceptable. It does not prove anything, you still end up looking like a fake, pathetic lemming.

There are still a lot of terms floating around that do not come into mind immediately. You are all free to make abundant use of the comments board andlet me know what bugs you the most when it commes to borrowed lingo.

¹ Clarified Butter