How To Say "No"

1. Just say "No", I really do not care you killed a fake uncle or how tired your poor, hardworking husband gets after returning from ummm... whatever.
2. If you have a story, stick to it. It can either be a dead fake uncle OR tired hardworking husband. Not both. One story per excuse is credible. Now, if you add a mumps ridden kid to it too, do you want me to write you a cheque too?
3. If it is an excuse used often, remember what you used last time.
4. Try to make it short, because rambling on and on makes your feeble lie even more feebler. Plus, just a "No" is enough. Most people dont really care about your reasons.
5. If "illness" is your standard excuse, I'm not setting a foot into your house ever, because who really wants a slew of infections? Ewwwwww.....
6. Most importantly, be gracious. Image is everything and you really don't want the reason why you were asked in the first place, flushed down the toilet, do ya?