I miss my dysfunctional family

Especially when I turn a bright itchy red and it subsides only marginally after popping in an antihistamine. My body downwards from my neck has turned red and splotchy and my throat feels choky and my eyes are watering. It is an allergic reaction of some sort and I'm in mortal agony. It is at times like this that I miss my parents and their sensible, unsympathetic, ironical advice. We could give Kurt Vonnegut a run for his money, I tell you.