Thursday, June 03, 2004

Who moved my Paneer?

Dear Mavalli Tiffin Room,

Yesterday night in sheer desperation, I opened a packet of MTR's Paneer Makhani for dinner. I was tired from work, I was tired of being robbed of my hard-earned money by the government in the name of taxes, I was tired of always being on call, I was tired of life and I was tired of cooking my own dinner day after day after nauseating day. So, I cooked up some rice, made me some salad and popped paneer makhani in the microwave. I was anticipating a nice dinner, with plump pieces of soft, fragrant paneer amidst a tomato gravy. When I saw my bowl of paneer I was horrified. Who moved my paneer? Who?

Where was my paneer? What was this rust coloured greasy gravy doing and where were the plump chunks of paneer that were promised on the cover? Were those puny micro-bits of grey colour, paneer? What is wrong with you people? Sadly I resigned myself to eating the shit when I discovered that there were exactly 23 tiny pieces of leather er... paneer in it. When I say tiny, I mean tiny.

My question to you is very simple. What do you do with those paneer pieces you use on the photograph of the cover of paneer makhani? What will you do about the trauma caused to me and undoubtedly millions of other home-sick north-Indians who were fooled by the enticing photograph on your covers? What do you get from this cheese-paring? A thousand curses on you and your brother and siblings and your entire joint khandaan. Also include Jiggs Kalra in the army for endorsing fake paneer makhani. Next time you move my paneer think long and hard. Wait! There will be no next time with me! Ha!

Yours with malice and ill-will,



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