Why Are German Names So Unsexy?

See...

LEHMANN Jens
JANSEN Marcell
FRIEDRICH Arne
HUTH Robert
KEHL Sebastian
NOWOTNY Jens
SCHWEINSTEIGER Bastian
FRINGS Torsten
HANKE Mike
NEUVILLE Oliver
KLOSE Miroslav
KAHN Oliver
BALLACK Michael
ASAMOAH Gerald
HITZLSPERGER Thomas
LAHM Philipp
MERTESACKER Per
BOROWSKI Tim
SCHNEIDER Bernd
PODOLSKI Lukas
METZELDER Christoph
ODONKOR David
HILDEBRAND Timo

Compare it with

ABBONDANZIERI Roberto
AYALA Roberto
SORIN Juan
COLOCCINI Fabricio
CAMBIASSO Esteban
HEINZE Gabriel
SAVIOLA Javier
MASCHERANO Javier
CRESPO Hernan
RIQUELME Juan
TEVEZ Carlos
FRANCO Leonardo
SCALONI Lionel
PALACIO Rodrigo
MILITO Gabriel
AIMAR Pablo
CUFRE Leandro
RODRIGUEZ Maxi
MESSI Lionel
CRUZ Julio
BURDISSO Nicolas
GONZALEZ Luis
USTARI Oscar

And yet the sexy names can't get a goddamn penalty kick right!!!!

So, now that the sexy argentinians have been well and truly penalty kicked out of the world cup, I'm supporting the Germans.