Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Revolver Rani

I knew a Revolver Rani in real life. My Nani (maternal grandmother). I used to find the revolver hidden under her saris (she always carried a Smith & Wesson, until few months before her death)pretty much useless. My grandparents lived in rural UP (like the wild, wild west times 100) and now that I have grown up, I realize why she carried it always. That's the only way she could live fearlessly and do whatever she wished, when she wished, in her environment. She was shit scared that one of her grandchildren would fire it by mistake, so when she was at home, it remained locked in her room, which was forbidden zone for everyone. Of all my grandparents, I miss my Nani the most. She was the only grandparent of ours, whose pride in her grandchildren pored from every pore and her love smothered us. We did not appreciate it while she was alive, but I truly wish every girl in India had a grandmother like my Nani.

I don't really believe in afterlife, but a small part of me wishes Nani is somewhere flashing pistols, terrorizing bad guys and being a bad ass, and having a whale of a time.

Someone Marry My 35 Year Old Brother - Appropriate Ladies Please Apply but Only After Reading This Post

My aunt (Father's Sister) called up my mother, very unaccustomedly few days ago. She told my mother she had a rishta (matrimonial proposal) for my brother. Now, my aunt, despite everything, is from old-school traditional UP. My mother asked her if the girl (a doctor) in question:
  1. Drank
  2. Smoked
  3. Could dance (my brother is a very enthusiastic salsa dancer)
  4. Ate and could cook mutton.
  5. Ate beef, pork, seafood and fish.
  6. Would be comfortable in western wear/ bikinis/ skirts/ frocks.
  7. Was an atheist and never went to temples or her family never ever consulted any religious guru.
If the answer to any of the above was negative, sorry, would not do.

My aunt was somewhat offended. Then, to add insult to injury, my mother told my aunt, "Forget my son, your brother has started annoying me a lot these days, since you are in the matchmaking business apparently, why don't you find me a good match? I think it is time I moved on."

I don't think my aunt will be approaching my mother for any more matrimonial proposals soon.

Jokes apart, if you are a well-educated, independent, single lady in the appropriate age range, and fit the bill, do drop me a mail.