Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My Dream Come True

I just discovered Polyvore. God! I love it!





Labels: , , ,

Friday, July 24, 2009

Regular Calcutta Annoyances

1. Dear Zaranj, your chef is from Agra. Agra was NEVER Awadh. Never, ever. I ate a lot of lambchops because they were good, but dousing other food with Kewra jal does not make it awadhi. Why am I suddenly craving brahmi sharbat? Does anyone even know what that is? No?
2. Dear original people from Calcutta, does it not bother you that there really is NO cutting edge or even economically viable research happening in Calcutta?
3. Dear Men, what was so stareworthy about me chomping on my food, that you took one whole hour after your meal to sit and stare at me and my galpals wolfing down food? I know, we eat a lot, because really, I dont do drugs or booze and dining out is one of the sole pleasures left in my life. So, next time you stare, I really wish you choke on a bone or something or the waiter spills the tureen of soup over your head.
4. Do the frequent Bandhs and idiot strikes not bother anyone? WHY does no leader from West Bengal actually take a stand about something that is so counterproductive?

Friday, July 03, 2009

Why India Should Not Tax Single People Such as Moi

  1. Because I will not procreate and add to the burgeoning population and headache of the government in providing UINs, PANs, Ration Cards etc. for more humans.
  2. Because, all the income I earn is mine and mine alone and not disguised under the head of "spouse" and children.
  3. To compensate for the otherwise irritating and humiliating manner in which most GOI servants treat me - Sample - (i) "Mrs. Plumpernickel" - ummm... No, no, MS. Plumpernickel - Strange suspicious head to toe look ensues. (ii) Passport Officer 1 - "Reason for travel?" - "Tourism" - With mouth agape - "Madam, aapni ekdom ekla jachchein? Kichu mone korbein na. Indiae teke kono mahila ekla prayoh jaaye na." I think I need to have a fresh post about this section, because this post is not about this section.
  4. By not having a spouse aka sidekick aka bonded labourer to run sundry errands, I keep multiple families employed - that of my cook, maid, driver-chauffeur, peon, car-cleaner, dhobi ie ironing man, electrician etc.
  5. By not procreating, I do not need to save for the education of a child and thus I have more disposable income to errr... kickstart the recession ridden economy of couture clothes, shoes, publishing industry, art cottage industries, gourmet food, gyms, movie theatres and spas.
  6. Because of my choices, I am reducing the headache of the GOI in maintaining records pertaining to my family that is restricted to one.

If these are not good reasons for a lifelong tax holiday, the GOI is an ass.

Labels: , , ,