Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Our Wonderful, Adventurous, Magical, Re-union Vacation

Mata, Ponappa, Poo and I are going to Italy for a re-union vacation. If I survive June, I will probably go. Mata has already lost it twice, called the rest of us "adolescents". Mata and Poo, being vegetarian, have started piling on Ashirwad meals, Bhujia and papads. Ponappa has as usual made no plans, because "darlings! I don't have a continental shift like you 3 desis, y'know!" Ponappa is also looking forward to meeting up hot Italian ladies, Poo is excited at seeing Venice with Ponappa who ironically, wants to go to Athens.

Mata has chalked up a long list of architecturally interesting places and has started reading up Italian history and art. Mata is trying in vain to pull me completely over to her side. Poo and I have made plans of idling away at cafes sipping lattes and eating gelatos. Mata is already driving me wild by looking suspiciously at every italian looking dish in gourmet and asking me, "Are you sure it does not even have egg!" (This was asked when I was looking at grilled eggplants!)

Poo has asked her uncle to get her pepper spray. Mata and I want to bring back prints, Poo has already said twice, "See, don't bore me with Van Gogh's life ok?" Ponappa for the most is quiet about everything. Poo and Mata have already started asking me suspiciously,"Are you sure you're coming?" even though MY visa is in order and my tickets are almost done and both of them have to go for their visa interviews next week.

Some things never change and I can't wait to do Paris with them next year.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Am I Alive, Really?

2 Legs - check
2 Hands - check
1 largeish tummy - check
bums, jugs, armpits - check, check, check

Head - Now, where has that rolled off to, again?

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Way We Travel - Delhiwallahs

1. Wear a Burberry Tee-shirt, thick gold chain, carry a Vertu.
2. Wife has arched eyebrowns, bottle or bleached blonde hair, wears tight-tight clothes, arms dripping with diamond bangles, carries a Chanel or Louis Vuitton Bag.
3. Insist on eating Vegetarian only. Then turn up your nose and say, "What? You have only one option in vegetarian?" (Do you think you are at Sagar, asshole? Its a airplane, in case you hadn't noticed.)
4. Chat up all airhostesses and tell them loudly, very loudly how wonderful your vacation to the USA was.
5. When you have to disembark, rush to the exit, elbowing everyone in your way and if someone asks you, "Whats your hurry?" say, "Fuck off!" thus displaying your origins and the lack thereof.
6. Call up some obscure person (loudly, very loudly) that you just can't stand in the passport control line for immigration and that you and your harpy of a wife should be taken ahead of the line.
7. Wait with the hoi polloi for your luggage, because you see, there are somethings in life, even your sources cannot control.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Bad, Bad, Bad

Today the PMS kicks in making me so unhappy I wish I was dead.
Why do these bloody hormones have to kick in when I have so much on my plate? Why? Why? Why?
Some women go through life without suffering PMS, without having a single stomach cramp, without bloating. Dear God, Why couldn't I be one of those women?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Just A Drop Of Milk In Mine

I had almost forgotten the soothing powers of First flush Darjeeling. I must go and replenish the diminishing stocks!