Monday, August 17, 2009

People Who Should Have Swine Flu But Wont Because Their Sole Mission In Life is To Annoy Me

  1. Behenji
  2. Barkha Dutt (Yes sweetie, THATS how annoying you really are)
  3. Most of TOI
  4. Didi
  5. The Karats
  6. Most of the CPI M
  7. Sushmaji
  8. Basically all politicians who irritate me
  9. The fat woman who asked me if I was single because I was divorced, widowed or because no man would marry me (NOT MAKING THIS UP)
  10. All jay walkers
  11. All people who can't stand in a queue in Haldirams and Spencers
  12. Pretentious artists
  13. Pretentious art critics who write catalogues for pretentious artists
  14. Pretentious gallery owners who make pretentious art critics write catalogues for pretentious artists
  15. 98% of Bollywood film industry starting with the Bachchans.

Go on, add to the list... You know you want to!

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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Swine Flu - Bite My Ass

Well, I am back from Bombay. I went wearing a N95 mask but found that too suffocating and it looked too much like a bra cup for my comfort, so I decided to put my daily dose of seven seas cod liver oil to the test and took off the mask and braved the elements. After I took off the mask, few thoughts came to my mind (Yes! In Bulleted form. I have decided to only think in Bullets from now on):

  1. Swine flu has killed less than 100 people in India so far. The population of India is almost 1.2 billion, so the odds of my survival are WAYYY high.
  2. India deserves regular culling of people. 1.2 billion and not stopping. We Indians, put rabbits to shame. So, I am all for epidemics culling the weaker.
  3. Swine flu seems to be a relatively painless way to die compared to cancer, aids, malaria, TB, getting mowed down by Sanjeev Nanda like people, etc. You just get the flu and then you die. End of story.
  4. Should I be step-motherly to Natco Pharma? If one supports the footwear industry, the garment industry, the music industry and the publishing industry, why not include the Tamiflu producing industry too? No, no, a million times No.
  5. Why doesnt the media clutch their pearls about malaria, TB, cancer, dengue etc. which kill more people than this swine flu?
  6. To take swine flu as a lethal killer seriously, I need to see atleast 5000-10000 people all together drop down dead like nine pins or else, whats the point of being a deadly disease?

So, you swine flu can bite my ass. Kill atleast a million people, and then we shall talk.

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Current Tragedy

I have not bought a shoe in over 6 months. Am I short of dough? No. Am I downsizing? No. Have I sworn not to Buy shoes? NO. Do I not have time to go shopping? No. Have I lost the will to shop for shoes? OH GOD NO. Then why have I not bought even one pair in the last 6 months?

NOW, I finally know why I have been in such a bad mood! Ah!

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Right To Education

After a long, long time, common sense and building a strong foundation for the future seems to have prevailed on the present UPA Government. It is my opinion that enforcement and undertaking this should be in the hands of the Central Government and placing this responsibility in the hands of the state government is not such a good idea, because really which state has displayed good governance at the state level consistently?
Fittingly, the Calcutta edition of the Times of India thought the price of Cristiano's legs was more important than the Right to Education Bill (See First Page 5 Aug 2009 for those there who like me, like sneering at the TOI). I understand pandering to the LCD, but really, what were you thinking?
If I finally get a voter's identity card and IF my name by some miracle appeared on the electoral rolls, I would vote for Sonia Madamji ki party in the next elections, purely on the basis of this one bill.