Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Miracle

The sister and I finally have something in common! We both hate thin, slim women.

Gin in the Gin Soaked Boy

I told my sister about my love life or rather lack of. I wonder whether she bought it? She seemed to be soaking it all in with a rather incredulous tone in her hmmming. I would too if I were in her place. When she said, "One of these days, you'll get AIDS" I nearly choked into my soy milk. Thats my family... Tell them you are seeing someone (Embroidery is my forte, why be satisfied with just one man?) and the next thing you hear is a sermon on AIDS. I'm wondering, will I be getting a carton of condoms from sister dearest for my birthday this year? Maybe I should start a weaving business or something?

I Love Metrosexuals

I really do. I love the fact that they can identify my perfume AND the deo I have used. I love the fact that they know more about hair styling products than I do. I love the tiny shimmy they do before they sit down to avoid crumpling of their attire. I love the fact that they've actually spent more time than I have in getting dressed. I love that they can identify the tiny inconspicuous label on my purse and on one occassion even identify the shelf it was from. Mmmm... I nearly had an orgasm. I love that they love to shop. I love the fact that they know why I wear black. Too bad they're going out of fashion.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

No Vacation for Plain Jane

This year because of my hectic schedule, my studies, extensive travelling and work issues I am not taking a vacation. I was due to go on vacation from tomorrow. Now, I am not.

Life sucks. I need a break. Urgently. After October, I plan to go for a 4 day vacation somewhere. Destination unknown. I need to find a nice, relaxing resort. Perhaps with spa facilities. With a nice swimming pool. With lovely views. Great food and a comfortable bed and NO CITY NOISES. I think Goa may be good. No?

Monday, August 29, 2005

A long, long time ago

I was bitter. Now, I'm only cynical.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

A Normal Friday Evening

Has anyone ever told you, "Maybe we should try and love each other more?"

And has all your anger melted and rolled out in fat, plump tears?

And then, you remember Paris, long-distances, port wine on the 80th floor, traces of spicy lemony cologne, long conversations in stumbling sentences, using the wrong verbs, long sighs, really bad rock music and laughing your head off at it, roller-coasters.

Lifestyle Events

The newest catchword for bankers in Calcutta seems to be "Lifestyle Events". These include fashion shows, art dos, launches and anything that requires moolah. These often involve "Charitable" organisations. Yesterday, I asked the banker who had invited us, what was the cause which that particular charitable organisation was supporting and he did not know! He did not even know what exactly would our hard-earned money be channelised into. According to me, just giving it to the artists themselves would be a huge charitable gesture in itself, but anyhow. Finally the mystery was revealed to all, the charity supported war, natural disasters and army widows and orphans. Hmmmmm...

The usual terrors were out in full force. I met my nice artist friends, made small talk and beat a hasty retreat home to eat my salad, rajma-chawal and really good chardonnay and watch Desperate Housewives.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Steer Clear

With every month comes PMS. Sometimes even ODing is considered and then sanity kicks in and I refrain from raiding the medicine cabinet. Every time some moron trivialises depression happening to women due to gynaecological reasons, my only wish is to mallet the asshat into thin sheets (Hello Tom!). I could have achieved so much, but all I want to do is hide my face in the sheets and cry. Normal chores seem like ordeals, work seems insupportable and I can't stand the thought of other human beings. Then, my mother reminds me that when she was my age, she was already a mother of two. The thought usually is frightening, now I just head to the loo and puke my guts out.

Sweet Child of Mine

Today I did indeed have a good cry. While I was crying my nephew called up. I don't know why kids are so cheering up. After he told me about his exams I suddenly felt better with life. I wish I could spend more time with him.

How cool is this?

I've posted this from my blackberry!

Petty Gustatory Annoyances

I feel annoyed when women pretend they don't eat something when in reality they don't eat it because it is fattening.

I feel annoyed when people do not eat fruits and vegetables claiming to be non-vegetarians. Surely they need vitamins, minerals and fibre?

I feel annoyed when people classify greens as rabbit food.

I feel annoyed when people go on stupid diets like Atkins.

I feel annoyed when teenagers eat chocolate cake slathered with chocolate sauce and then go home and declare that they are skipping dinner or lunch or whatever.

I get annoyed when people declare that they don't like or eat something when in reality they have never even tried it before, like sushi.

I get annoyed when people run down food and cuisine in other countries just because they have rigid food habits.

I get annoyed when people force feed people who don't want to eat something.

I get annoyed when people do not appreciate fresh food.

I get annoyed when people praise crappy food or when crappy, unhealthy food is idolised - case in point, nizams kathi rolls.

I get annoyed when people don't seem to mind unhygienic conditions and sneer at people who demand them.

Fasting, Feasting

Yesterday I feasted, hence today I must fast. Thai food will be the cause of my undoing one day.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Slave Driver

On days like today, it actually pays, and how!!

If I had brainwaves like this everyday, I could retire at 40. Sigh!

Waking up to the smell of coffee

I've been a coffee and tea snob. I absolutely refuse to drink instant coffee or dust tea. I will only drink filter coffee with known provenance of beans and Darjeeling tea, never Assam. I can't stand sugar in either my tea or coffee. I mostly drank tea at home because I did not have a coffee filter at home. When I moved in to my new house, I made sure I got a coffee filter. The bliss of having freshly brewed coffee in the morning while reading the newspapers makes up for all the assholishness of the world.

Why Smart People Make the Dumbest Mistakes?

Because they truly believe that they can get away with anything.

I am living proof of this.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Pizza Factory

On Sunday, my cooking gas ran out and I faced the happy prospect of dining happily on pizza. With the Pizza Factory in town, I'm only too happy doing that. So I trotted off to Park Street, idled about at the Oxford Book Store and then sauntered over to the Pizza Factory. I checked the menu, and decided to get my pizza packed so that I could lounge at home munching pizza, listen to Bob Dylan and do the crossword. I settled on spinach, chicken, zucchini and aubergines as toppings. I like my pizza with vegetables. Then I checked if they had any veggies and I spied a green salad with Rocket! Rocket! In Calcutta! I had to have it. So I ordered that as well. Anyway, this was what my pizza looked packed.

On my way home, I couldn't resist the pizza and when I got home it was finally like this! This is the nicest pizza in Calcutta, though a little pricier than Dominoes.

The green salad with egg was very fresh and had rocket. I love all kinds of leaves in my salad and this is the first time I found anything other than lettuce in calcutta. Now, I need to know where they get the rocket from. The dressing was not nice at all though. It was too sour. So, I mixed up a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar and then shaved some parmesan over my salad. It was perfect. No pictures of that though.

I really need to know where they get their fresh rocket from. Food in Calcutta is finally changing. I've asked my sister to get me seeds or seedlings for chives and other herbs, I need to grow my own herbs. If anyone could educate me about growing lettuce and rocket here, I would be eternally grateful.

I strongly recommend the Pizza factory. The food is good but slightly higher priced but in my opinion worth the extra amount.

Monday, August 22, 2005

The Ancient Alumni Meet

I got conned. I was told that there would be people from my institute and there were none. I met people who had passed out in 1957, my father's colleagues (who I am not too fond of, to be honest) and one of my batchmates' grand uncle! Such is my sorry life.

Crap! I missed all the fun.

So, I went to the bloggers' meet described HERE. It was pure curiosity to see who else in this city blogged. It seems quizzers make bloggers, which is why the faces seemed familiar.

Since I don't have a life and my work has taken over my soul, I could not even stay too long. Much the pity.

Will I go to another bloggers' meet? Probably not.

Did I enjoy the meet? Yes.

Conclusion: I suck which is why I am doomed to a life devoid of any kind of social interaction.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Stuck in my head right now

Baby, I've been waiting
I've been waiting night and day
I didn't see the time
I waited half my life away
There were many invitations
And I know you sent me some
But I was waiting
For the miracle to come

I know you really loved me
But, you see, my hands were tied
I know it must have hurt you
It must have hurt your pride
To stand beneath my window
With your bugle and your drum
While I was waiting
For the miracle to come

You wouldn't like it baby
You wouldn't like it here
There's not much entertainment
And the critics are severe
The Maestro says it's Mozart
But it sounds like bubble gum
When you're waiting
For the miracle to come

Waiting for the miracle
There's nothing left to do
I haven't been this happy
Since the end of World War II
Nothing left to do
When you know that you've been taken
Nothing left to do
When you're begging for a crumb
Nothing left to do
When you've got to go on waiting
For the miracle to come

I dreamed about you, baby
It was just the other night
Most of you was naked
But some of you was light
The sands of time were falling
From your fingers and your thumb
And you were waiting
For the miracle to come

Baby, let's get married
We've been alone too long
Let's be alone together
Let's see if we're that strong
Let's do something crazy
Something absolutely wrong
While we're waiting
For the miracle to come

When you've fallen on the highway
And you're lying in the rain
And they ask you how you're feeling
Of course you say you can't complain
If you're squeezed for information
That's when you've got to play it dumb
You just say you're out there waiting
For the miracle to come

A 29th Birthday

This is what I want for my 29th Birthday that will happen very soon. A list of things that I can do without and don't really need, but would warm the cockles of my heart.

1. All books by Anthony Bourdain - Right now I am fasting, is it apparent?
2. Flowers
3. Clothes but I should be able to choose them (I haven't bought any for the last 2 months - the agony!)
4. A holiday
5. Time
6. Invitations for dinners, lunches, coffee whatever - is there a pattern forming already?
7. A new Laptop - my old one is on its last legs
8. Shoes, shoes, shoes

Now, I should force make all my friends and relatives and family read this blog. Or not.

Friday, August 19, 2005

What is THE question?

A measure of my asocial nature: I have no inclination to go to any bloggers' meet, despite enjoying the bloggers' meet bloggers' blogs. Maybe I will? Maybe I won't? Hah! I wish Varsha commotion would return, but she with Ii is romancing Khajuraho. Right now, I want to bitch and poke fun and get all snooty.

I am being dragged to an alumni meet today. It is ironic really. I've hated being on campus because something in me can't abide with groups. I can't bear to be part of a sorority (or fraternities as happens in India in most technical and business schools and colleges because of the sheer lack of women), the cliqueishness gets to me after a while. Also, my colleges made me miserable. Everyone pretended they had made it without studying (nevermind the actual reason why most of the sorry ass men had no life), the competition was intense in everything, there were giant egos on display everywhere and the academically inferior were treated like vermin by their classmates and professors. The few women on campus who were marginally presentable to look at got away with murder, while I put up with insults and rude comments because of my fat (which is why now, when I see my classmates and peers who have gotten heavier - and I am losing weight everyday these days, I put my faith a little more in divine retribution).

Anyway, I am meeting Alumni and I do not know what to say to them. Perhaps a "Were you as miserable in college or did you belong to the side that made others miserable?" might not go down very well. So tonight I shall wear demure clothes (oh! The temptation of wearing slinky, sexy, slutty clothes!) and pretend I enjoy the back-slapping.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


These days I can't even have a good cry in peace. I'm over-stressed and tired. I just can't take stupidity for another minute. Yesterday after a stressful, combative and nerve-wracking day at work, I shut out the world in my bedroom and lay down for a nice cry. Just 4 minutes after the tears started pouring the bell rang. I dried my eyes and answered the bell. It was some furniture being delivered - at 8:45 pm! After that, I built up the atmosphere again and summoned the tears, the moment I built up a crescendo, the idiot bell rang again. It was the dhobi with ironed clothes. My cry was interrupted 5 times, first by the furniture, then by the dhobi, then by my driver, the maid and finally by the security guard. At midnight, I gave up my attempts of sobbing my heart out and settled for cynicism and bitterness and hatred at the yuppie-heaven my life has become. Oh! Then, I padded up to my refridgerator to pour myself some Baileys, only to find that the bottle was empty. Now, I know why my ex-maid was always sleeping.


Remembering Munich

This is one of my favourites.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Rubbing my Eyes

Yesterday I saw a man and a woman wearing bright yellow t-shirts that said, "International Scientology Volunteers". What are they doing in Calcutta? Do people have nothing better to do than to spread stupidity? Is Tom Cruise paying for this?

No Pain No Gain

That is my trainer's catchphrase. I worked out like a person possessed over the long weekend. I have done roughly 300 stomach crunches (100 everyday) in the weekend, with my trainer screeching goading me on by repeating, "No pain, no gain" over and over again. When I completed my work-out, instead of clubbing him to death as any sensible human being would do, I would say, "Thank you Trainer for today's torture workout, GROAN!" Today at work, my abdominal muscles are screeching out, "No pain no gain" with every movement I make. Groan!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

May I Help You?

Earlier this year, I had gone to San Diego for a conference. I shopped like a mad woman, and had to buy an extra suitcase on the day of my return. My flight back was via Los Angeles, and I was flying from San diego to LA. Apparently, all short flights from San Diego are routed through a specific terminal irregardless of the airline. Except, I didn't know that and I got dropped at the wrong terminal. I had to take an airport bus back and had to load all my luggage on a trolley. In the USA, one pays for trolleys (Snootily looking down my nose) and since that was my last day in the USA, I spent the last of my change on candy. So, there I was at a wrong terminal, with mountains of luggage, no change and my flight soon to depart. I tried using my credit card for the trolley but for some reason it just wouldnt work. Nevermind that it worked fine just 2 hours later at LAX. So, I started scouting for pennies on my person and discovered I was a dollar short. I was ready to burst into tears, when a tall, hulky security guard walked past and asked me if I needed help. Desperately, I shook my head and told him I was a dollar short and that my credit card was not working. He reached into his wallet, inserted a dollar in the slot, smiled and said, "There you go miss, who says chivalry is dead?" Then he strode away smiling and beaming at the world, not even waiting to hear me say thank you.

Gooses Ganders

The attitude of people in the retail industry in India is rather strange. Yesterday, I sent my driver to pick up stuff from the supermarket. I wanted to exchange some things in my list because they were brands I don't like to use, so I sent him back for exchanging. The fellow was extremely rude to my driver and refused to exchange the goods. When I went instead of the driver, he exchanged it without a murmur. I have seen the attitude of the fellows in that particular store and I have noticed them behaving absurdly with people who are not as well dressed or who are obviously household help.

This is just another thing that pisses me off terribly.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Finally in Calcutta - The Pizza Factory, Cinnamon

I have long despaired over the non-availability of good restaurants, especially French, nouvelle cuisine, Italian, Greek even Thai. You do have excellent restaurants but they are all in five star hotels. However, sometimes one wishes to eat well but simply and not have to bother with the bells and whistles of a hotel. Finally I have located two newly opened restaurants, one Italian, one european (it calls itself Mediterranean, but also has a separate Indian menu, probably to break even or something).

Cinnamon on Park street (next to Marco Polo) is that mediterranean restaurant. The Mediterranean/ European food is excellent at the price. The vegetables are fresh and full of flavour, the meats are succulent and cooked just right, the fish and sea-food is fresh. So, if you are in Calcutta and do not want to eat greasy Indian food or are tired with generic kebabs or are feeling rebellious with cheesy continental food that is usually Calcutta's fate, step into Cinnamon and do not look at the Indian menu.

The second restaurant is Italian. Sadly they serve only pastas, pizzas, coffee and GELATO!!! It is called The Pizza Factory and is located in Kanak Building, off Russell Street. The pizzas are just so, the pasta is lovely and cooked just right. For a change it is actually al dente and not over-cooked the way it is in most restaurants in Calcutta. I am most impressed with the extra virgin olive oil they serve with bread. It is even better than the one they serve in La cucina at the Hyatt. AND they actually serve Gelato. They make the icecream over there and it was actually gelato. What I would do for a taste of Rome in Calcutta and now I have found the place. They do not play annoying chamber music or techno and play western classical. That to me is a huge plus in their favour. Also, it is never over-run with annoying teenagers so one can actually eat and drink in peace. The pricing is friendly and the waiters friendly and helpful.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Its Assignment Time Once More

I'm dead. If it wasn't for my reviews coming back better, I would have dropped out. Still, at the end of this, I shall be dead.

Friday, August 05, 2005

To be worn all weekend long

I'm already feeling twinkly.

I'm old!

I was feeling young and bouncy (ahem!) and then I read my nephew's and niece's blog. Sigh! I miss having that much energy and hope.

Eye Candy... Just

Last week, I went out for dinner to a restaurant that does fusion food. I have posted just 2 out of the 4 plates that my group ordered (the other pictures have a red haze over them, i don't know why). One is pasta and a tomato based sauce with chicken and very oreganoish flavors and the other is a corn pilau like thing with grilled flavoured paneer with some sauce. Both looked very interesting but the food was very disappointing. All of us had pancakes for dessert and we expected some hot, fluffy pancakes or hot, thin crepes, but we got pre-cooked bland pancakes with supermarket ice-cream and preserved cherries and peaches. Very, very disappointing.

The entrees


The Mastercard Moment

Shiny happy shirt - Rs. 2999/-
Trousers - Rs. 2699/-
Stole - Rs. 2300/-
Shoes - Rs. 2400/-
Purse - Rs. 1454/-
Barrette - Rs. 50/-
Watch - Rs. 7000/-

To be asked, "Are you freshly out of college?"

Yesterday I went for a dinner meeting. It was networking, more networking, wheeling, dealing and schmoozing - a regular days work. I met these people and was explaining something that I wanted and then the conversation got more personal and veered to colleges and this lady asked me if I was freshly out of college and whether or not this was my first job? I'm thinking now, "Do I appear juvenile? Did I say something juvenile? Should I have not put my hair in a barrette? Did I dress too young?" But no, there are few women who are dressed similarly. Then she says, "Your skin is glowing, how do you maintain it?" Well, lets just say that my idiot skin just decided to be nice for a change. One of the really, really rare moments.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


I got to know of one of my favourite uncle's death yesterday. Death was a release for him. He was suffering from cancer, was in his last stages and no doctor was willing to take on such a hopeless case and no hospital was willing to take him in. It is at times like this that I question the reasons for still remaining in India where human life is valueless. Why grieve for a professor who taught thousands of students who have moved to better climes? Why pause and mourn the passing away of a humorous, sarcastic, fun soul who could always be relied on to be the focal point of a class, the life of a party and the sharpest observer of facts? My entire family is shocked and saddened at the early passing away of an old dear friend.

I am shocked and am missing my parents more than ever. When I hear of premature deaths of the friends of my parents, it gives me a jolt and I hope and pray they will be around for years.

I have disabled comments because at this rather difficult point in time, I do not wish to have anonymous people posting offensive comments on my blog. I do not understand why a certain visitor to this blog bears so much bitterness and malice. My philosophy has always been to live and let live and to not breach anyone's privacy. Apparently this person has an axe to grind, though why, I do not know.

Right now, I am depressed and grieving. This is the third death in two months of some of my parents' close friends. I hope my uncle is now in peace. He will be remembered with a lot of fondness and happiness.