The Drugs Don't Work

For tennis elbow.

Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kickin' in
It's getting heavy
And I wanna run
And hide

Inconvenience Regretted

My parents sent this photo to me and my siblings and said, "Now that we are getting old, we know you three will be inconvenienced far more than we are comfortable. So, we thought this photo was so very apt."
Everytime I look at it, I cry a little. I am the middle child and I remember my father when he would carry all three of us (brother on shoulders, me and my sister in either hand) and my mother when she could dance for hours more gracefully and energetically than our entire class. I don't know what my sister's earliest memories of my parents are, and my brother sadly always saw them somewhat older and much tired. This photo is how I will remember my parents always. Having a ball, whatever their circumstances and always able to laugh and never EVER losing their sense of humour and dignity.

Smoothies For Dummies

1. Forget to eat fruits for breakfast - All 4 kinds. You may not be able to make out thanks to my stellar photography, but you have watermelon, pineapple, cantaloupe and pomegranate here.
2. Worry that you will get scurvy, malaria, cancer, gall bladder stones, acne everything because you havent eaten 4-5 helpings of fruit.
3. Whip out the immersion blender.
4. Smoothie time!
5. Take 2 views of your glass, just because lack of content makes one post inanities on one's blog.

People Who Should Have Swine Flu But Wont Because Their Sole Mission In Life is To Annoy Me

1. Behenji
2. Barkha Dutt (Yes sweetie, THATS how annoying you really are)
3. Most of TOI
4. Didi
5. The Karats
6. Most of the CPI M
7. Sushmaji
8. Basically all politicians who irritate me
9. The fat woman who asked me if I was single because I was divorced, widowed or because no man would marry me (NOT MAKING THIS UP)
10. All jay walkers
11. All people who can't stand in a queue in Haldirams and Spencers
12. Pretentious artists
13. Pretentious art critics who write catalogues for pretentious artists
14. Pretentious gallery owners who make pretentious art critics write catalogues for pretentious artists
15. 98% of Bollywood film industry starting with the Bachchans.

Go on, add to the list... You know you want to!

Swine Flu - Bite My Ass

Well, I am back from Bombay. I went wearing a N95 mask but found that too suffocating and it looked too much like a bra cup for my comfort, so I decided to put my daily dose of seven seas cod liver oil to the test and took off the mask and braved the elements. After I took off the mask, few thoughts came to my mind (Yes! In Bulleted form. I have decided to only think in Bullets from now on):

1. Swine flu has killed less than 100 people in India so far. The population of India is almost 1.2 billion, so the odds of my survival are WAYYY high.
2. India deserves regular culling of people. 1.2 billion and not stopping. We Indians, put rabbits to shame. So, I am all for epidemics culling the weaker.
3. Swine flu seems to be a relatively painless way to die compared to cancer, aids, malaria, TB, getting mowed down by Sanjeev Nanda like people, etc. You just get the flu and then you die. End of story.
4. Should I be step-motherly to Natco Pharma? If one supports the footwear industry, the garment industry, the music industry and the publishing industry, why not include the Tamiflu producing industry too? No, no, a million times No.
5. Why doesnt the media clutch their pearls about malaria, TB, cancer, dengue etc. which kill more people than this swine flu?
6. To take swine flu as a lethal killer seriously, I need to see atleast 5000-10000 people all together drop down dead like nine pins or else, whats the point of being a deadly disease?

So, you swine flu can bite my ass. Kill atleast a million people, and then we shall talk.

All Coming Back To Me Now

I went for my eye check-up last week. Turns out my power has dropped 0.5 degrees for both my eyes. I truly appreciate the power of sight, now that every thing seems clearer and I don't need to squint at the monitor.

To celebrate my clear sight, I got a pair of retro frames!