How to Amuse Yourself OR How To Prevent Doing Yourself In

This post is not what some of you may think it is about. Heh!

I largely stay alone. I left home at 17 (For college, not booted out or anything, though I feel I had tried my parents' patience enough). Since then I have been handling my own shit. Once I started drawing a substantial paycheck, there was nothing I wanted more than a roof of my own, where I could plonk in a hundred nails or paint the ceilings blue, without an irate landlord pounding on the door. So, I did that. Once the 100 nails were plonked in and the ceiling was painted blue, and the excitement of setting-up home had died down, I was at a loose end. I was bored. The hours sometimes strectched long and lonely after work. I dont like watching too much television and I dont like meeting people, as a hobby. I didnt want to call up friends and family and whine and sob to them periodically (I did do that, I am ashamed to admit).

So, I decided to do everything that amused me. I got involved in art, started travelling, started cooking stuff more complicated than dal-chawal, joined hobby clubs (Very difficult in Calcutta), started reading (this backfired, because now my home is overrun with books, but apart from a niggling annoyance now and then, dont mind it at all), started painting (also challenging wrt space), joined language classes, joined dance classes and keep doing random shit that I find amusing. I do get lonely even now, but I have a million things to do always and when one has a TO DO list that extends to over a million points, one tends to think lesser of poor old me.

The point of this post is that if you stay alone, do stuff that amuses or interests you and keep your brain occupied. Because nothing can kill you as effectively as loneliness and an idle brain can. You dont need megabucks always. So that should not be an excuse. I have seen many friends go down this path, and it saddens me.

The Fortune-Telling Lady Has Even Taken All Her Things Inside

Now the moon is almost hidden
The stars are beginning to hide
The fortune-telling lady
Has even taken all her things inside
All except for Cain and Abel
And the hunchback of Notre Dame
Everybody is making love
Or else expecting rain
And the Good Samaritan, he’s dressing
He’s getting ready for the show
He’s going to the carnival tonight
On Desolation Row
Haven't done a lot of Dylan because my life has been smooth as silk lately. A little bump here and there, every now and then, but silk it is. I have my cocoons, looms and weavers. They may not know it, but everyday I look at them going about their busy business and pray for them.

This post is not as senseless as it looks, atleast to me.

Rehashing Memories

I visited my parents for Diwali this year. Actually one day after Diwali. What made it even better was that both my sister and brother were also able to make it. The 5 of us were under one roof after believe it or not, 11 years. The last time we assembled was during my sister's wedding, and we all know that was the stuff movies are made of, not romantic gooey teary ones, but the slapstick, the world has gone crazy ones. In-laws boycotting. Check. Crazy neighbours tying to gauge groom's age. Check. Father going all pink pagri at the last moment and ordering 50 kgs of Abar Khabo at the last moment (there were about 300 guests). Check. Sister going Bridezilla (This was my first introduction to the species and it was scary). Check. Sarcastic guests (some of who's hearts BIL had broken, no doubt) being nasty. Check. Booze under the Counter. Check. Drunk photographer. Check. Happy times. It was actually side-splittingly funny. Anyway, we were together again after 11 years!

This time it was different and better. There was a new nephew. We were relatively saner. My parents were older and had less energy and if you know my parents, you know in a way, that is good. And what did we do? We talked about old times and we laughed, and laughed and laughed until our bellies ached.

Smoothies For Dummies

1. Forget to eat fruits for breakfast - All 4 kinds. You may not be able to make out thanks to my stellar photography, but you have watermelon, pineapple, cantaloupe and pomegranate here.
2. Worry that you will get scurvy, malaria, cancer, gall bladder stones, acne everything because you havent eaten 4-5 helpings of fruit.
3. Whip out the immersion blender.
4. Smoothie time!
5. Take 2 views of your glass, just because lack of content makes one post inanities on one's blog.

Milk

I watched SATC2 on a flight and the copious Bailey's I was swigging made the movie watchable. The one thing that stuck with me was the Indian valet putting cinnamon in the milk he was heating for Samantha. I thought that was a weird combination, because Milk in my mind went with cardamom (elaichi) and I didnt like it. I do love cinnamon in my baked goods though, so I thought I'd try that out. Its simple. Just crush up a stick of cinnamon and plonk it in the milk you're heating. Strain and drink. I loved it. Its the perfect spice for milk. Absolutely perfect. Its like drinking cake batter. A lot of you may go "ewwww..", but I'm the licking the batter kind of baker. So, if you like cinnamon and you like milk, try it. May be old hat to a lot of you, but to me this is a novelty.

More Surprised Than Anything Else

Few days ago, someone left a really really rude comment, which of course I deleted. Comment moderation, I love you. Anyhow, the funny thing is, I sorta agreed with the commenter, though I doubt he would have seen it that way. The comment was on one of my posts about how Indian men should shape up. I do go on the offensive very often mostly because the Indian men I meet make it just very very easy and my relationships with them are tenuous to say the least. What can I say? I like bad men and not the nice, submissive, mamma's boys kinds. This guy was an american guy of Indian origin and commented that Indian women too were pathetic. Of course, the comment was really rude. BUT, thing is that these days the sheer numbers of pathetic Indian women and men do bring on the bile. Also, I also feel that many Indian women who adopt western influences, embrace all the wrong ones. Me, I'm all about the feminism and equality. Most of my Indian sisters are about the dressing like a slut. Anyway, rude commenter, in a very very weird way, there was a grain of truth in your bilious rant.

Delegation 101

Yesterday was a work event. An important work event. I was feeling unusually confident about the abilities of my co-workers. So, I delegated cutesy photo taking to an underling. These are the spectacular results. Not one, not five, but SEVENTY THREE examples of stellar photography. Well played underling, well played!

Delegation 101 - DON'T.

Leaps And Bounds

In 2009, I started getting plants into my 6 year old house. I wanted to put in roots? I wanted desperately to have a garden. Growing up in a bungalow with a half acre garden, makes one desperately want green. I started out by getting 5 plants and a gardener, who after laughing long and hard at my 5 pots, started gifting me all unwanted rejects from the massive gardens he tended to. I also started adding a plant here and a plant there. Now, I have over 40 plants. And, my aloe vera is thriving in not one but 2 pots.
This was my aloe vera plant when I got it in 2009.
This is my Aloe Vera now. It is thriving and actually sprouting babies. From one straggly Aloe Vera baby, I now have over 10 Aloe Vera plants. The big fat one that is tied to the stick is the original plant.
Another pic.

A lot of you accomplished gardeners may laugh at my foolhardy attempts. But, when I return from work and see my plants, I know I'm home.

Books Etc Giveaway - Results

My books giveaway has been a success! All books, save 5 which I decided not to give were given away. I have successfully sent off all parcels. I have 1 shelf cleared. I shall be posting the second list soon. I know I have been tardy, but life has been rather full at the moment. Hope all of the people who've got the books enjoy them.

Books Etc Giveaway

I have a big pile of stuff I no longer want. Throwing in the trash seems heartless and I would rather someone who really wants to read/ use, gets to read the books/ use stuff. the books/ stuff are all in good condition with minimal wear and tear. Most books are paperbacks. I will be snipping off the page on which I normally scrawl my name for obvious reasons. Other than that they are in very good condition. The reason I am abandoning these books is that I am running out of space at home and I dont wish to keep them for eternity.
I will be crossing out the stuff as soon as it gets booked. All you need to do is email me your mailing address on plumpernickel at gmail dot com. The books will be sent by speedpost. My real life friends and family obv get first preference, but there is a good chance you will. If you have booked a book and it has been previously booked and I have not struck it off the list, I will email you back and inform you. Please understand that I will post the books/ stuff only anywhere in India. Please also do not ask for more than 10.
Anywhere this is the list: The ones struck off have already been booked.

LIST OF GIVEAWAY STUFF

1. Shopaholic & Sister - Sophie Kinsella
2. Shopaholic Takes Manhattan - Sophie Kinsella
3. Can you keep a secret - Sophie Kinsella
4. the Boy next door - Meggin cabot
5. My Sainted Aunts - Bulbul Sharma
6. Shopaholic & Baby - Sophie Kinsella
7. Five Quarters of the orange - Joanne Harris
8. Big Bangs - Beverley Macdonald
9. Written in Blood - Beverley Macdonald
10. Sex and the City - Candace Bushnell
11. Made in America - Sam Walton
12. After the banquet - Yukio Mishima
13. Passenger to frankfurt - Agatha Christie
14. Lark Rise - Flora Thompson
15. The Sea - John Banville
16. Wild Swans - Jung Chang
17. Caravans - James A. Michener
18. The Woman & the Ape - Peter Hoeg
19. The way to paradise - Mario Vargas Llosa
20. Vernon God Little - D B C Pierre
21. The line of beauty - Alan Hollinghurst
22. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
23. The opposite of fate - Amy Tan
24. Amrita - Banana Yoshimoto
25. The year of yes - Maria Headley
26. Everything happens for a reason - Kavita Daswani
27. Bright Lights Big Ass - Jen Lancaster
28. Virtual Realities - Neelam Saran Gour
29. Chasing Cezanne - Peter Mayle
30. Lipstick Jungle - Candace Bushnell
31. The Girl who loved Tom Gordon - Stephen king
32. Rose madder - Stephen king
33. Rude Food - Vir Sanghvi
34. The Bad Mother's Handbook - Kate Long
35. Jigs & Reels - Joanne harris
36. Cause celeb - Helen Fielding
37. My Latest Grievance - Elinor lipman
38. Texas - James A. Michener
39. The Devil wears Prada - Lauren Weisberger
40. The Hippopotamus - Stephen Fry
41. Moonlight Becomes You - Mary Higgins Clark
42. 4 Blondes - Candace Bushnell
43. whale Done - the power of positive relationships - Ken Blanchard
44. Pop - truth and power at the Coca Cola Company - Constance L. Hays
45. Memories of my melancholy whores - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
46. The Wonderspot - Melissa Bank
47. The Sovereignity of Good - Iris Murdoch
48. Everyone worth knowing - Lauren Weisberger
49. The rough guide to Paris
50. Still Life - A. S. Byatt
51. Saving Fish from Drowning - Amy Tan

Polite Conversation

It isnt the done thing to ask ladies how old they are. So, in India people ask you the year you graduated. Doc, did the same. I said, "2000". He said very sadly, "1989." Then he drank 2 glasses of wine very, very quickly.

Being The Skeleton In The Closet

So, we're looking for a bride for my brother. My five year younger brother. In fact, I've even started buying clothes to wear in my brother's wedding and we havent (he hasnt) found the bride yet. Mother was telling me about a meeting she had with a lady with a daughter who could be the suitable girl. And she says, "Before anyone else could tell her, I told her - my daughters are very independent minded. The elder one got married to a Bengali man and the younger one is not going to."

So, world, meet plumpernickel - the skeleton in my family's closet.

Always Makes Me Laugh

Mom: Will you miss me when I'm dead and gone?
Me: You'll have to die for that first.

No one else in my family gets it why I and Mom collapse helplessly with laughter at this. Every time.

Muffin Is Not Cake

Whenever I return from the US, the only thing I miss are the muffins and the bagels and the..., well, lets not get into that, but a good muffin is not easily available in Calcutta. By a good muffin I mean a muffin and not a cupcake, which passes off as muffin at most establishments. The places that do good muffins seem to use too much butter. I want my muffin to be cinnamony, have a crumb and be a little dense but not too much and give an indication of what went into it. So, desperate in need of a good muffin, I decided to bake them on my own.
I checked my recipe books, scoured on the Internet and ahem, chose the easiest one. It is as easy as making a pack of ramen. Seriously.
I tweaked the recipe I found a little to get me the exact muffin taste I wanted. Here is the recipe, just in case...
Ingredients
1 cup Quaker Oats (the 3 min cooking ones)
1 cup milk
3/4 cup all purpose flour (maida)
1/4 cup whole wheat flour (atta)
2 tsps baking powder
1/4 cup sugar (I added 2 tsps more to the 1/4 cup)
1 heaped tsp cinnamon powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup flaked almonds
1 egg
1/4 cup oil (I used saffola - did fine)

Method
Pre-heat oven to 180 deg C. Grease muffin tins. Mix the oats and milk and let it soak for 15 mins. Best the egg and oil. Combine the rest of the ingredients except the raisins and nuts to ensure they are homogenized. After the egg and oil have combined, add the oats-milk mixture and mix well. Add the flour-sugar-baking powder-cinnamon mixture bit by bit and keep mixing to ensure no lumps are formed. Add the raisins and almonds (I plan to add cranberries and walnuts next time) and mix well. Pour into the muffin tins/ cups uotil the surface. This is important or you wont get a muffin shape. Bake at 180 deg C for 20-25 minutes until done. Insert a toothpick and if it comes out clean, it is done.
Once out just knock out of tin and stuff in your face, like I did. I blame it to the smell. OH the smell of baking wafting is enough to make your brain say "muffin! muffin! muffin!"

A close up. This looked much better than the pic.
This is after knocking it out of the cup. Shape held well even after cooling. So, Yay!

Just look at that crumb! Seeing the success of my first baking experiment, I will be baking A LOT now.

Just Another Day

Walking around aimlessly in NYC is always guaranteed to entertain. From out of nowhere, this parade stopped all traffic in Little Italy.

This really amused me, because if I was a part of this parade, I would be dragging the water bottles/ refreshments.

Boundaries and Fences

1. The Internet is not really an anonymous medium. You may have a nickname but that doesn't mean you have to be obnoxious. Amazingly, a lot of people forget this. I'm outspoken, if provoked and this blog is a testament of that fact. Still, there is a difference in being outspoken and being obnoxious. Putting down people without reason is juvenile.
2. Everyone on the Internet is not looking for a match making experience, even if they are single, such as moi. I am polite, flirty even but taken. I dont wish to discuss my personal life in public and that is that. It is irritating to have people hitting on you just because one doesnt like to gush on and on about one's personal life.
3. Being abusive is fine, as is swearing, but sometimes it is revolting, especially when your abuse involves the female genitalia. Just why calling someone female genitalia is abusive, I don't understand, however, I find it very offensive, next to racist abuses people tend to use rather freely.
4. Being on twitter has been an eye opener on how people younger than I, feel and think. Well, nothing has changed with the demographic I am familiar with - engineering/ management graduates. Still misogynist, sexist, racist and desperately chasing tags. Is it a wonder I feel like a misfit at work? Who am I kidding? Indian men just do not know how to behave with women at work and never will learn until their mothers stop treating like Gods. Mommy dearest, are you listening?

How Does Your Garden Grow?

I purchased 2 paintings today. The artist is a young, struggling artist Sujit Karmakar, who is also showing at Studio 21. These two are called very simply "Childhood".

Opinions solicited.

Tandoori Chicken - Dinner Tonight

One of my culinary ambitions is to be able to make a good Tandoori Chicken at home. Why? I spent few years in Delhi and grew to love the rustic simplicity of TC. Sure, decent TC is available everywhere, but cooking and eating at home, ensures I actually know what went into my food.
So, I am on a perfecting TC mission. Yesterday, I marinated a whole skinned chicken with ginger-garlic paste, yoghurt, chilli powder, salt, a wee bit of rock salt, some garam masala and some lime juice. I'm not happy with the marinade. Somethings missing, I think I need to up the yoghurt and use fresh ginger-garlic. Well, I marinated the chicken overnight and then put it in the griller at 190 deg C for about 1 hour and turned it around 3 times. It was cooked perfectly. The right amount of char and soft and very well-cooked inside. So, I got the timing correct atleast.
This is the best picture - somewhat obscene looking Tandoori Chicken!

One Day I Shall have Time For

1. Lunching
2. Watching the world go by on a lazy Sunday afternoon
3. Painting
4. rearrange faces and give them all another name
5. Go for Bob Dylan concerts
6. Build a house
7. Spend whole day on the sofa reading
8. Shop leisurely
9. Sleep 8 hours everyday
10. Shampoo my hair every other day leisurely rather than my normal slip dash rush routine.

Dining

The suit was pinstriped. Ferragamo it was rumored. The dinner was a carnivore's delight. The conversation was a battle of egos, and after a while the name dropping got intense and fierce. They said Per Se, he said Lugers. And then they knew, they would be incompatible.